For the first time since I moved out on my own, both my Internet and cellphone data caps maxed out about two weeks ago. The people who possess beauty that is unlimited data don’t understand the pain of dealing with data plans.
On a monthly basis, I have to monitor what I watch, how often I watch it and find a way to distribute usage over a span of 30 days. This is a challenge when the average Netflix video can consume almost half a gigabit of data, depending on the quality. (1080p HD video can use almost 1 GB of data in less than an hour.)
My other problem is my lack of entertainment outside of Internet videos. I have no cable. I canceled my Netflix a few weeks ago because of the large chunks of data it ate. My DVD collection is limited, and I don’t have the money to build it up. It’s also winter, so I don’t have the liberty of engaging in outdoors activities like I did six months ago.
These are all first-world problems – I understand. People in other countries deal with starvation, disease and poverty while I complain that I can’t keep up with the Kardashians or what homophobic slur Phil Robertson is slinging around this week. However, this is America, and it is my constitutional right to complain about not having 24-hour access to LOLcats.
This isn’t the first time I’ve exceeded my Internet data plan. It’s not as bad since I have an extra 2 GBs of available data on my phone, so in theory, I always have some form of Internet. But on one Friday night, both my Internet and phone data plans reached their limits. What’s worse was the fact I had a three-day weekend ahead with no work, no girlfriend and no plans other than avoiding the cold. It didn’t take long before I realized the horror that now sat before me like a spider sitting in a web that blocks the only entrance into the bathroom on taco and wings night.
On a side note: I wasn’t completely deprived of sanity the entire weekend since my downstairs neighbors invited me over a few times, and they provided me with NFL football, “Inglorious Basterds” and “Star Wars.” These charitable acts likely spared me from ending it all.
The moments where I wasn’t in their presence was when I realized something: I am attached to the Internet to an almost unhealthy level.
The revelations began Saturday morning, when the first thing I did was clicked on my phone’s Facebook app – only to discover that I couldn’t access Facebook from my phone until Jan. 7 (when my data cycle restarts). I usually couldn’t care less about Facebook. I don’t have many friends to begin with, so my news feed is limited. Most of the posts that appear in my feed are junk to some extent. Rarely do I get likes because people just don’t understand me. (That’s what I tell myself, anyway.)
But somehow, I felt deprived of something. That something was connection to the outside world. Since moving away from home and many of my friends and family, Facebook is how I stay informed about what’s going on in the booming metropolis that is Mountain Top. I admit that I don’t message or chat with people often, but it’s just knowing what they’re doing or thinking that somehow provides me with the gratification that I care about their lives to a small extent. I almost felt alone in the world by waking up and not seeing these tidbits of information.
I then proceeded to grab breakfast. I prepared a meal and sat down at the table. Before I so much as took a bite, I clicked on the Cracked.com app. I tend to read Cracked articles while I eat breakfast because what better way is there to start a routinely miserable day than with a few chuckles. It wasn’t until the blank screen came up that I realized I wouldn’t get my morning story of “The Five Places Hamsters Ended Up Where They Shouldn’t Have Been.” Likewise, I normally check Twitter to read less-informative news. I had no reading material other than the newspaper, but I can’t scroll on a newspaper, and I risk severe injury or death from possible paper cuts. So why should I read a newspaper for stories as redundant as city council meetings or a study suggesting that constant stimulation via smart phones can lead to brain cancer? I sadly finished my meal without the benefit of being an informed citizen.
Without getting into too much detail, one of the most daunting tasks I found due to my lack of Internet was using the bathroom. I didn’t think it was possible to frig up something I was trained to do since infancy, but I winged it.
The issue wasn’t using the bathroom so much as the boredom that accompanies it. Instinct dictates me to grab my phone and check my social media apps while I finish “business.” Without the Internet, I sat there and couldn’t think of what I should be doing with this time.
Women mock how men can spend minutes or hours on end in the bathroom, but what they don’t realize is how this precious time serves as a moment of personal reflection and philosophical advancement. In the old days, our bathroom time was occupied by reading the newspaper or writing essays about quantum mechanics. Now, we better utilize that time by checking Twitter, posting on Facebook and watching YouTube videos. Without Internet access, I felt the time I was spending in the bathroom wasn’t productive. I had no other choice but to pout until my work was finished and carry on – knowing I wasted a solid thirty seconds of my day.
The one benefit I can say came out of not having Internet access is how it forced me to seek work. For example, I went and mopped my kitchen and bathroom floors (something I haven’t done in weeks), cooked crab bisque and monkey bread, cleaned the sinks, bathtub and bedroom, changed my car battery (It died, so there wasn’t much of an alternative) and copied a few dozen CDs to my expanding iTunes library. I also wrote this post, while copying CDs and reading a book. I’m multitasking beyond checking Facebook while eating or urinating.
It’s rather impressive, actually. On most nights, I’ll lie on my couch, watch YouTube videos and ultimately go to bed after I’ve watched anything interesting. I don’t feel I improved myself in any way. In fact, I’m likely de-evolving to the mental capacity of a walnut.
Being without the Internet for a few days made me realize how it has integrated into almost every function of everyday living.
It’s frightening. There were points where my thumb sat hovering over the screen ready to push an app that I knew for a fact it wasn’t operational at the time.
The mundane has become unacceptable. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I see my family and friends’ faces buried in their phones all the time.
It doesn’t matter which occasion, either. It could be a holiday gathering, dinner, Mass or sitting in front of a TV. If there’s any boredom present, then it’s right to the phone or tablet. This sounds bad, but there’s nothing wrong with a little stimulation. Finding a healthy balance between Internet gazing and having a social/outdoor/work life is the key, however.
The best time to engage in Internet use is in solitude. During time spent with family, friends, significant others and coworkers, putting the phone down won’t lead to an aneurism.
Learn from my ways. I have witnessed the World Without Internet. It’s a frightening place, but once you’ve explored it, things aren’t as bad as them seem at first glance. So stop reading this post, if you haven’t already. You’re wasting time. I’ll be the first to admit that.
Get away from the screen and try something different. You’ll feel better and more productive than you can imagine.
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